I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
