I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
