a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
