I must be too annoying 4 u.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
