In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
