I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
