Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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