tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
