i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize