I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
