so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
