Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
