i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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