when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
