Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
