Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I had to cum in my sink.
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