What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
