She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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