It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
