grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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