her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
