The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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