I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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