it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
