We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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