oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My bed smells like the plague
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
