Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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