I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Mom said you looked used
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
