He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize