Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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