fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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