I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
