I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i believe in u and ur pee
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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