You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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