What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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