she looked like the before picture.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
