There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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