Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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