i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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