i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She told me I should be a condom model.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
