trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
