508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she smelled like a LAN party
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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