brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this beer tastes like vomit already
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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