Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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