First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
