her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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