You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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