I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
