you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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