This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
