Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
