what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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