At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
