you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
