I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
