and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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