I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
