How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
