My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize