so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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