Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I fill condoms, not promises.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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