I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
