I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
