well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
