you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
