I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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